Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
