so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
