well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
