you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
