38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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