I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize