i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
