sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
