I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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