This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
