who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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