so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
