There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
