i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
