he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
