chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
