matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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