his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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