Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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