and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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