I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
