You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
