If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
