i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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