We're like a lot better than the average bears
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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