The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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