You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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