Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
