Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
