My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Sober January is a disaster.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
