I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
