If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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