he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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