You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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