You work out of a Hotel?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize