he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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