doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
