Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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