Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
