He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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