also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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