i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He kissed a someone with a penis
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
