Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
