Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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