My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
