you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
