You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
