Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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