As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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