The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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