dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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