Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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