We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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