i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
