Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
