No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
