I wish I could teleport
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
