Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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